Like every mom, I have always thought my little girl was special, but ever since my diagnosis with POF and pending infertility, I have gained a whole new appreciation for the life my husband and I created. Our daughter truly is, “our little miracle”. It is hard for me to even comprehend the magnitude of the gift the universe gave us. The timing, the circumstances, every detail is nothing short of miraculous.
Getting the diagnosis of POF, after already having a child is somewhat confusing. On one hand I feel like I don’t even have a right to complain; on the other hand my greatest fear is someone telling me I don’t have the right to complain. I feel like I stifle my emotions just to seem more appreciative of what I have…And I do have A LOT! Can I be happy, humble, and thankful and still be sad for what I lost?
I cannot imagine what getting a diagnosis of POF, or degree of infertility, is like before having any children. My heart aches for those women and couples. However, I can relate to opening your heart to the possibility of a child and everything that comes with it, and having that dream stolen. It is devastating.
Having my beautiful daughter will probably have a great impact on my journey with POF, and what path we choose. The emotional, physical, and financial costs of IVF or fertility, will directly affect my ability as a mom. However, one of the main reasons we wanted to have a second child was to give our daughter a sibling, and the unique bond that comes with sharing your childhood with someone. I mean, who will she call and say, “Mom and dad are going crazy again!” to? No one will actually believe how crazy we are, if she does not have anyone to back up her story… ;)
Any way I look at it, I am beyond thankful for my daughter. It is truly amazing how blessed I am to have her. I am only now beginning to understand just how precious life is. If this journey has taught me anything, it has helped gain a greater appreciation for life’s miracles.
I'm so glad you have your daughter! I keep looking back on my own journey and wishing that all that time I was on birth control crossing my fingers that I wasn't pregnant each month had turned out differently. I wasted so much time! I know I shouldn't look back with so much regret - I mean, I had absolutely no idea I would have POF - but it's hard not to regret.
ReplyDeleteSecondary infertility, from what I can understand, is just as traumatic and devastating, maybe in part because it comes as such a shock - if you've already had one baby, why can't you have another???