It seems that, no matter where I am in life I am always "trying". Trying to get a project done, trying to clean the house, trying to become a better person, trying to be a good wife/mother/friend...the list is endless. I don't know why I don't think of it as achieving anything. I AM becoming a better person, I AM cleaning the house, I Am a good wife and friend. The word trying seems so defeated at times.
Recently, I added a new kind of "trying", to my life, trying to conceive (TTC). And as of right now, I AM feeling defeated by this type of trying. It seems a little like failing. After recently being diagnosed with premature ovarian failure, I am not sure what trying is going to mean for us any more. As of right now, the focus has shifted from TTC, to trying to control symptoms with hormone replacement therapy (HRT). In the future it may mean trying IVF, or trying to wait for a remission.
I am also trying to control my emotions, trying not to get upset, trying to understand, trying to find community, and trying to be thankful for what I have.
But, sometimes, I don't want to try anymore. I just want to be.
I created this blog to find community, and to have a space to just "be" in. I am hoping my experiences will, in some way, help others. This "trying" stuff is exhausting, and it would be great to laugh, cry, support, and encourage eachother through it.
